Bad Medicine: Anti-Schwagg Q&A to Health

by S. Brook Reed

Our vulnerability exceeds our prideful egos. As mere mortals, we emerge as the objects we devour.

Eat at McDonald’s exclusively; die young and fat. Party with meth; bye-bye white teeth and central nervous system. Depend on prescription opiates; presume the misshapen infirmity. Even your bicycle will fail you, in time, if you grease the bearings with graphite.

Not unlike medicinal pot— It can be a life enhancer, yet can also be caustic to your mental and physical being.

Mold can be a bigger pest than bugs.

The same as our flesh and blood is most receptive to raw, nutritious foods – countering trans fatty acids and gas station munchies – your cellular tissue is receptive to fresh, strain-monitored marijuana as healing and rejuvenating . Yet more bogus than an intense strain confusing a patient, permeating your protoplasm with rotten, ready-for-the-trash stash is beating down your soundness-of-body intentions – thus the universal symptoms, not to mention mood fluctuations, in select patients.

Those most adversely affected by the down aspects of this uppity medication are the immune suppressed. Patients with stomach problems, or easily fractured health in general, are also prone to damage. Health disturbances may entail: Acid indigestion, heartburn and/or bloating; flu-like belly eruptions and/or flatulence; water retention and/or urinary tract dis- turbances; swollen lymph and/or prostate glands; excessive cough and dry throat; ringing in ears and/or sinus drainage; skin rashes or flushing; pins-and-needles itching and/or hives; fatigue and/or decreased libido; extreme sweating and body odor…For the cursed patients, they’re no better than their most recent sack.

Alleged treatments are costly. With the market decline sending pro-biotic prices into orbit, some patients make the error of instead using antibiotic/antifungal pills to ward off nasty crud-bud-induced conditions. In truth, medical cannabis patients should never have to resort to prescriptions to counter a plaque – cough! – of foul medicine.


Unfortunately, some apprentice farmers or dated processors can potentially scare new patients away. Ill-advised post-crop curing methods, wrongly chosen storage, and ridiculous Mexican-type baling can result in muddy product. Like a mushy old banana, no good use can come of spore-speckled foliage that is no longer “kine” when abused or old, despite kief density.

Also tape a PESTICIDE BUD WARNING to the dirt-weed-boycott lamp post. With a stench that may exceed your moth- er-in-law’s Spray ‘n Golf commercially treated backyard, a baggie full of pot that reeks of chemicals is, without question, poisonous! Again, greenhorn growers are to blame. Thereby, the patient suffers. If your horse won’t eat it, and it makes the guard dog whimper, don’t toke it!

So don’t waste your money on that bottle of CelestialGro! C’mon, we don’t want to plead – the Ortho Chinese Hornet Killer is even worse! Anything that zaps bugs, or encourages early budding, is probably more hazardous to humans than you know, regardless of popularity. Twenty-two thousand North Americans meet their maker every year, the result of pes- ticide exposures. Currently, thousands of national/international pest control manufacturers face wrongful death/injury lawsuits, where many have prevailed in the past. These facts, conveniently, never tumble from the mouth of your garden center retailer. Your well-being is being gambled; apathy and ignorance are rampant.

Peter Kaiser and Gerry Pierce (both of Kaiser Farm) are organic agriculturists who advised us well on producing garden/medicinal perfection. Also Southern Oregon’s leading medicinal cannabis activist and guru Cynthia Willis assert- ed her brand of motherly horticulture advise.

Mold can be a bigger pest than bugs. What crop- drying hints can you disclose for mildew evasion? Peter Kaiser: Sulfa burners. If we don’t use them, mold can be a factor. Dehumidifying and circulating the air is very important. Good outdoor weather judgment is also crucial. Timing means a lot. If a small amount of mold is visible, we harvest the plant immediately.

Do some farmers package it up too soon?

Gerry Pierce: No plastic should be used until the medicine has been properly cured. Pre-mature bagging can defi- nitely cause mold problems. Once bagged, keep it stirred daily.

What about color and taste retention? Why do gorgeous buds turn brown or lose their lime green glimmer and delectable flavor?

GP: Plastic, re-moisturizing, or age cause loss of color/freshness. Medicine should only be dried in paper or cardboard.

What chemicals are used on the farm?

PK: We are absolutely organic. We don’t use pesticides  or synthetic fertilizer; we use Neem Oil, which dissipates in one week. And we use milk spray for calcium fertiliz- er. Soap or oil-based pest systems are effective and much safer. For the soil, we use coconut husks, worm castings, washed cow or chicken manure, peat moss, washed sand and decomposed granite for minerals. Then, no topical or soil samples at all for one month prior to harvest. We don’t even expose our voluptuous gals to generator or tiller exhaust fumes; we take the term organic one step further and cultivate by hand.

What else repels bugs?

PK: We give the plants a bath—wash the bugs off with clear water—the old fashioned, non-toxic method.

There are trace elements of hundreds of nasty chemicals due to conventional farming, etc., in North America’s tap water. What do you irrigate with?

PK: Well water. There is no arsenic, lime, chlorine, lead, mercury, or accumulated conventional farming chemicals in our water.

Some patients prefer indoor to outdoor harvests, and vice-versa. Do you grow outdoors and indoors, both?

PK: All in the great outdoors. Technically, it is much eas- ier to be organic when you are growing outdoors.

Cynthia, you and your store manager, Larry Wise II barter often with Kaiser Farm, and upholds a similar yet distinctive mode of spore/chemical dodging. Please share some of your Green- Thumb knowledge.

Cynthia Willis: We, too, wash the bugs off with mere water. I touch and caress the buds—show them love—it makes for more stout plants. We also shake all the water from the buds daily—zero moisture remains overnight. We observe the intricacies of the tops closely—any detect- ed fungus is a young generation of such and is quickly trimmed from the plant before contamination takes place. We like Ed Rosenthal’s Zero Tolerance; it keeps the wormy and winged pests away. Why poison the client or ourselves? We’re here to help, not handicap, the health progression of our people.

What post-harvest mistakes do farmers/providers make that cause problems for patients?

CW: We, personally, make the drying process simplistic. When the preparations are complicated, the likelihood of mold becomes greater. Get the plants in and out of the drying space! Once those plants or fragments are reaped, drying time should not exceed one week. Otherwise, something is wrong, and mold could be in fruition. We remove remnants of the tree, a bit at a time. The apex and external buds go first. We cure everything in a 5’ by 9’ cedar wood closet. Once suitably depleted of moisture, we transfer the dried pieces into turkey roasting bags, glass jars, or not too-tightly vacuum-packed containers. Our organic cannabis ages gracefully and is guaranteed non-noxious and parasite-free. Always.

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